Good Intentions

Another day starting with good intentions.

I went to bed saying I was going to have oatmeal for breakfast, but come morning, I think I was dehydrated, and was craving cereal with milk. I had Special K blueberry (wish I had portioned it out, I just had a huge bowl), and a glass of ovaltine.

Luckily, Barbara had stashed away all the goodies normally on the counter so they could set up for the big Christmas meal, so I wasn't tempted. I did have half of a Clif bar beforehand.

For lunch I had:

-3 slices ham
-1 biscuit
-1 deviled egg
-1/2 corn on the cob
-few bites of noodles
-2 servings of stuffing
-1 serving yams
-slice of pumpkin pie
-3 bites of cupcake
-Half can of coke

We took a nap after that, and when I woke up, I wasn't hungry, but I felt like eating. I had a frappucino, a pop tart, a lunchbag size doritos and a cookie.

I think one of my biggest problems with being around such a large variety of food is that I want to sample it all, and I feel anxious to feel hungry again so I can eat. But because I eat so much, it takes forever to get hungry again, so I just eat anyway.

Then we went to the Pine St house. Jeremy brought out our annual Christmas popcorn tin, so I snacked on cheese and caramel popcorn. I also found the baggie of goodies I took from Krissi's party, and had 2 PB cookies, a choco cookie and a lemon tart thingie. I also had 2 cups of coffee with too much sugar and cream. Jeez, writing all this out is awful.

I started to feel shaky from the sugar, so I asked what we were eating for dinner. Jeremy made General Tso's chicken and mini egg rolls. I had 5 of those, and probably a serving of General Tso's.

Once we got back home, I chugged down 2.5 bottles of water. I started to feel shaky again, so I had half of a Clif protein bar.

Again, I feel bloated and awful. I just can't be around this stuff. There's only so much willpower I can exercise. I really need to make a game plan for myself. Maybe I can put a pad of paper in the kitchen and write down everything I eat when I come here. Because writing it now shows me just how many hundreds of extra calories I'm consuming, but when I do it mindlessly, I'm in the dark.

Here is my goal for tomorrow: Make oatmeal for breakfast, and 1 cup of coffee. Then I will put on my exercise gear and go for a walk with Pepper. For lunch I WILL HAVE:

Turkey sandwich on white bread (no wheat, sadly), with mustard and cheese. On the side I'll have apple slices, celery and carrots, and IF I do good, I can have ONE cookie.

For the ride home I will pack a snack, maybe another sandwich. When we get home, I WILL make a healthy dinner. Maybe a soup with a slice of bread. What I'm NOT going to do is eat mindlessly and make myself feel terrible!!!!